Humor • Rozrywka • Dowcipy Ciekawostki • Satyra • Skandale • Polski portal satyryczny  humor   newsy   kontakt do Sadurski.com
dowcip,dowcipy,humor,sms,polski,polskie,gry,flash,galeria rysunku,rysunki,rysunek satyryczny,serwis
Dzi¶ jest czwartek, 25. maja 2017 r.
szukaj:
  w:
Dodaj do Ulubionych!
Pół miliona wizyt co miesi±c :-) Codziennie nowo¶ci - satyryk Szczepan Sadurski zaprasza.
Polonia. Podróże. Rozrywka.


Welcome in best jokes world. Search for jokes or browse by category!

 

Aardvark jokes
Accountant jokes
Animal jokes
Answer me this jokes
Ant jokes
Apple jokes
Aviation jokes
Baby jokes
Banana jokes
Bar jokes, beer, booze
Barbie doll jokes
Bath jokes
Beauty jokes
Bed jokes
Bicycle jokes
Biologist jokes
Bird jokes
Birthday jokes
Blind jokes
Blonde jokes
Body Parts jokes
Book title jokes
Brother and sister jokes
Burger jokes
Bus jokes
Business jokes
Cannibal jokes
Car and train jokes
Cat jokes
Children jokes
Christmas jokes
College jokes
Computer jokes
Cow jokes
Cowboy jokes
Criminal jokes
Criticism jokes
Dance jokes
Dead and dying jokes
Dentist jokes
Dinosaur jokes
Dirty jokes
Divorce jokes
Doctor and nurse jokes
Dog jokes
E-mail jokes
Easter jokes
Elephant jokes
Ethnic jokes
Face jokes
Farmer jokes
Firefighter jokes
Fishing jokes
Food jokes
Frog jokes
Funny jokes - best 50
Gender Slam jokes
Ghost jokes
Gorilla jokes
Hair and bald jokes
Halloween jokes
Heaven and hell jokes
History jokes
Horse jokes
Humor jokes
Hunting jokes
Idiot and fool jokes
Insect jokes
Internet jokes
Journalist jokes
Judge jokes
King Kong jokes
Knock Knock jokes
Lawyer jokes
Letter jokes
Marriage jokes
Men jokes
Mental health jokes
Military jokes
Miscellaneouss jokes
Money jokes
Monster jokes
Mouse jokes
Movie and TV jokes
Music jokes
Occasions jokes
Old age jokes
Parent jokes
Pig jokes
Police jokes
Political jokes
Puns jokes
Rabbit jokes
Redneck jokes
RelationShips jokes
Religious jokes
Restaurant jokes
Rude jokes
Salesmen jokes
School jokes
Sex jokes
Snake jokes
Snowman jokes
Space jokes
Spelling jokes
Sport jokes
Teeth jokes
Telephone jokes
The Elderly jokes
Time jokes
Travel and tourist jokes
Vampire jokes
Waiter jokes
Weather jokes
Witch jokes
Women jokes
Yo momma jokes
Zodiac jokes
Zoo jokes
Jokes in database: 12257
Random joke / Most popular / Top jokes
You are here: Jokes / Occasions jokes / Guide to buy a man gifts!
Find a joke:

Guide to buy a man gifts!
Rules for Buying Gifts for Men

Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto,eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

Rule #11
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #12:
Tickets to a Patriots game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope. No one knows why.
Views: 591
Rate: 0.0/5
Rate: 0.00/5   Number of votes: 0
Send / Report an Error / Free jokes

Random jokes:
Wedding Questions and Answers Wedding Questions and Answers
Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? Not if you are the groom. How many showers is th...
Category: Occasions jokes
The Facts of Life The Facts of Life
THE FACTS OF LIFE The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at f...
Category: Occasions jokes
Things in Life I've Learned. Things in Life I've Learned.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic...
Category: Occasions jokes
Bloomingdales! Bloomingdales!
A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arr...
Category: Occasions jokes
A Networkologist's Christmas A Networkologist's Christmas
"'Tis the night before Christmas," I thought with a frown. I was stuck at the office. The network w...
Category: Occasions jokes
*Humor
Links Good Humor Party< Good Humor Party
 

Dzień Dobry Humor
Wygl±dam jak ¶winia
Podczas obiadu żona oblała się zupa i mówi do męża:
- Popatrz, wygladam jak swinia!
- Nooo. I do tego oblała¶ się zup±!...
przeczytaj cały »


Rysowanie karykatur




Translate this page:








 Nowe humory
Co jest na fladze Mozambiku, jaka odległo¶ć do ¶rodka Ziemi...
Największy ziemniak ¶wiata
Gdzie jest zabroniona Coca-Cola, pierwsze piwo w puszce...
Nastolatek Fidel Castro, mandatowy rekordzista...
Alaska. Oryginalny żart primaaprilisowy
 Nowe newsy
Karykaturzy¶ci ponownie nalec± na Korfantów.
Michał Graczyk - wystawa w Białej
Wrzuć na luz 2017
Białystok. Rysunkowa rewolucja
Załóż domenę na Antarktydzie
Konkurs rysunku satyrycznego w Kolumbii
Starożytni astronauci - konkurs
Komiksowa wystawa w Wałbrzychu
Konkurs - Manufaktura Satyry 2017
Cztery pory karykatury 2017
FABRYKA HUMORU
Wpisz imię lub nazwisko i wybierz płeć:
 
 Nowa satyra
Grunt to rodzinka
Fraszki o kobietach
Limeryki i rymowanki
Czego nie wiem
Satyryczne podsumowanie marca 2016
Fraszki: Kameleon, Hasło nieudaczników...
 Losowe obrazki
Równa babka Malarz na drabinie Żabójca
Aaale kopa! Jak się bawi± słonie? Kwiatowy piesek
 Losowe filmy
Gumowa morda
Ekstremalna wspinaczka
Magik
Gra na barierce
Rycerz i smok
Besti Flokkurinn
Niezwykłe lustro
Jozin z Bazin
 Losowe dowcipy
Przecież mamy chleb
Pier¶ z kurczaka
Polipy, rolnicy i pszczoła
Zrób mi pan loda
Ha-hasła - 213
W pojedynkę niedĽwiedzia osaczyć?
 Podróże po ¶wiecie
Docieramy do Marmaris, Turcja
Muzeum zupek błyskawicznych w Yokohama
Amerykańskie Niagara Falls biednieje
Góra Longs Peak, Colorado, USA
Metro we Frankfurcie nad Menem
Rysunki z Nazca, Peru
 
¦mieszne filmy
Humor Joe Monstera
Domowe sposoby
Centrum Twojego pupila
Sadurski.com / kontakt / reklama / dla mediów / biznes oferty / patronat / współpraca / partnerzy