Humor • Rozrywka • Dowcipy Ciekawostki • Satyra • Skandale • Polski portal satyryczny  humor   newsy   kontakt do Sadurski.com
dowcip,dowcipy,humor,sms,polski,polskie,gry,flash,galeria rysunku,rysunki,rysunek satyryczny,serwis
Dziś jest czwartek, 17. sierpnia 2017 r.
szukaj:
  w:
Dodaj do Ulubionych!
Pół miliona wizyt co miesiąc :-) Codziennie nowości - satyryk Szczepan Sadurski zaprasza.
Polonia. Podróże. Rozrywka.


Welcome in best jokes world. Search for jokes or browse by category!

 

Aardvark jokes
Accountant jokes
Animal jokes
Answer me this jokes
Ant jokes
Apple jokes
Aviation jokes
Baby jokes
Banana jokes
Bar jokes, beer, booze
Barbie doll jokes
Bath jokes
Beauty jokes
Bed jokes
Bicycle jokes
Biologist jokes
Bird jokes
Birthday jokes
Blind jokes
Blonde jokes
Body Parts jokes
Book title jokes
Brother and sister jokes
Burger jokes
Bus jokes
Business jokes
Cannibal jokes
Car and train jokes
Cat jokes
Children jokes
Christmas jokes
College jokes
Computer jokes
Cow jokes
Cowboy jokes
Criminal jokes
Criticism jokes
Dance jokes
Dead and dying jokes
Dentist jokes
Dinosaur jokes
Dirty jokes
Divorce jokes
Doctor and nurse jokes
Dog jokes
E-mail jokes
Easter jokes
Elephant jokes
Ethnic jokes
Face jokes
Farmer jokes
Firefighter jokes
Fishing jokes
Food jokes
Frog jokes
Funny jokes - best 50
Gender Slam jokes
Ghost jokes
Gorilla jokes
Hair and bald jokes
Halloween jokes
Heaven and hell jokes
History jokes
Horse jokes
Humor jokes
Hunting jokes
Idiot and fool jokes
Insect jokes
Internet jokes
Journalist jokes
Judge jokes
King Kong jokes
Knock Knock jokes
Lawyer jokes
Letter jokes
Marriage jokes
Men jokes
Mental health jokes
Military jokes
Miscellaneouss jokes
Money jokes
Monster jokes
Mouse jokes
Movie and TV jokes
Music jokes
Occasions jokes
Old age jokes
Parent jokes
Pig jokes
Police jokes
Political jokes
Puns jokes
Rabbit jokes
Redneck jokes
RelationShips jokes
Religious jokes
Restaurant jokes
Rude jokes
Salesmen jokes
School jokes
Sex jokes
Snake jokes
Snowman jokes
Space jokes
Spelling jokes
Sport jokes
Teeth jokes
Telephone jokes
The Elderly jokes
Time jokes
Travel and tourist jokes
Vampire jokes
Waiter jokes
Weather jokes
Witch jokes
Women jokes
Yo momma jokes
Zodiac jokes
Zoo jokes
Jokes in database: 12257
Random joke / Most popular / Top jokes
You are here: Jokes / Movie and TV jokes / Homer Simpson Laugh-Lines!
Find a joke:

Homer Simpson Laugh-Lines!
Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
*****
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose ... it's how drunk you get.
*****
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
*****
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
*****
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal.
*****
Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren was never a stripper!
Homer: Oh, now who's being naive?
*****
Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!
*****
Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building...thingie... where our beds and TV... is.
*****
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
*****
Lenny: Hey, Homer? What do I tell the boss?
Homer: Tell him I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
*****
Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Ummm... revenge?
Homer's brain: Okay, that's it. I'm outta here. (step step step step step...slam)
*****
Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal!
*****
Homer: But Marge! I was a political prisoner!
Marge: How were you a political prisoner?
Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a picture?
*****
Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer)
*****
Old man: Take this doll, but beware; it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Ooo, that's bad.
Old man: But it comes with a free serving of frozen yogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The frozen yogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Old man: But it comes with your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate...
Homer: (confused look)
Old man: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
*****
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
*****
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
*****
Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.
*****
Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "Chicken"?
Homer: No! I swear on this bible!
Marge: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.
*****
Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: But the car's okay?
Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.
*****
Mmmmm... reprocessed pig fat...
*****
(praying): Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy bidding will be done (munch munch munch).
*****
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.
Views: 658
Rate: 0.0/5
Rate: 0.00/5   Number of votes: 0
Send / Report an Error / Free jokes

Random jokes:
Q: How many Q: How many
Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, if he's got a good crew to...
Category: Movie and TV jokes
Why did Captain Why did Captain
Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ? To boldly go where no man has been before !...
Category: Movie and TV jokes
Why can't anyone Why can't 
anyone
Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress? Because she always makes up....
Category: Movie and TV jokes
Q: How many Q: How many
Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: We don't know. Light bu...
Category: Movie and TV jokes
What is an Actor? What is an Actor?
What is an Actor? A man who tries to be everything but himself...
Category: Movie and TV jokes
*Humor
Links Good Humor Party< Good Humor Party
 

Dzień Dobry Humor
Opowieści pana żony
Sekretarka mówi do szefa:
- Szefie, mam dwie wiadomości, dobrą i złą. Od której zacząć?
- Od dobrej oczywiście.
- Otóż opowieści pana żony, że j...
przeczytaj cały »


Rysowanie karykatur




Translate this page:








 Nowe humory
Co jest na fladze Mozambiku, jaka odległość do środka Ziemi...
Największy ziemniak świata
Gdzie jest zabroniona Coca-Cola, pierwsze piwo w puszce...
Nastolatek Fidel Castro, mandatowy rekordzista...
Alaska. Oryginalny żart primaaprilisowy
 Nowe newsy
Jezioro Prashar
Karykaturzyści ponownie nalecą na Korfantów.
Michał Graczyk - wystawa w Białej
Wrzuć na luz 2017
Białystok. Rysunkowa rewolucja
Załóż domenę na Antarktydzie
Konkurs rysunku satyrycznego w Kolumbii
Starożytni astronauci - konkurs
Komiksowa wystawa w Wałbrzychu
Konkurs - Manufaktura Satyry 2017
FABRYKA HUMORU
Wpisz imię lub nazwisko i wybierz płeć:
 
 Nowa satyra
Grunt to rodzinka
Fraszki o kobietach
Limeryki i rymowanki
Czego nie wiem
Satyryczne podsumowanie marca 2016
Fraszki: Kameleon, Hasło nieudaczników...
 Losowe obrazki
Rzecznik rządu znów ma kłopoty Posłowie, wstępujcie do PDH Pocałunek na weselu
Levon Abrahamian - cartoonist, Armenia Honore Bonnet - rysownik/dessinateur, Francja
 Losowe filmy
Magik
Stan wojenny humor
Gumowa morda
Magik
Parodia Smerfów
Gdzie srają gepardy
Niezwykłe fajerwerki
Śmieszny robot
 Losowe dowcipy
Król Poniatowski daje order
Matematyka, Pitagoras i nieskończoność
Pamiętnik czyściocha
Penis w obieraczce ziemniaków
Zostać wybitnym muzykiem
Babcia i muzyka
 Podróże po świecie
Wielki Pałac Królewski, Bangkok
Z wizytą w mieście Filadelfia, USA
Miasto Santa Cruz w Boliwii
Krajobrazy Arizony, USA
Ciekawostki ze świata (10)
Rzeka Yellowstone, USA
 
Śmieszne filmy
Humor Joe Monstera
Domowe sposoby
Centrum Twojego pupila
Sadurski.com / kontakt / reklama / dla mediów / biznes oferty / patronat / współpraca / partnerzy